A place for FF's to write and read brief reviews of books and films for the benefit of other FF's.

A place for FF's to write and read brief reviews of books and films for the benefit of other FF's.

Monday, June 27, 2011

Commando, 1985

Arnold Schwarzenegger's character, John Matrix, has a great relationship with his daughter, Jenny, played by a young Alyssa Milano. They fish, hunt, swim in a river, chop wood, and feed deer out of the palms of their hands. But then a guy kidnaps the daughter so that John Matrix will kill a South American president or something, and so Matrix kills hundreds of people, with the help of a woman he meets at the airport who laughs in the face of death, because she is some kind of secret psychopath. Here's what you will enjoy:

-the steel drum loop that is the soundtrack
-John Matrix reading a map
-John Matrix getting out of a bi-plane in a speedo so he can row a bunch of guns to shore and then put his clothes back on
-the special effects
-the fake mustaches
-how slow John Matrix runs while hundreds of men shoot at him
-the opening montage of Matrix with his daughter, Jenny
-the awesome bad guy with the chain mail, who, though he has thin arms and a potbelly, believes he is the only man as strong as John Matrix
-a shopping mall policed by over fifty mall cops

I wish this movie had come out after the Matrix.

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